5 Things I Learned About Cruises While On One

I’ve only ever been on one cruise, but it was a really cool experience. I would definitely go again, but there are a few things I’ll be sure to take into account this time.

#1: You will feel the boat rock.

For most of my life I have been prone to motion sickness, but thankfully it isn’t as bad now as it used to be. When I was a teen I would get bad cases of vertigo. I still do, just much less frequently. For those of you who don’t know what vertigo is like …

SCIENCE BREAK!

Dizziness is what happens when your ears (your balance center) and eyes are sending messages to your brain, but the messages don’t match. Your ears, along with all your other senses are saying “We’re being still!” but your eyes say “We’re moving!” Your brain doesn’t like that, so you feel dizzy. Motion sickness is the opposite, where your ears say “We’re moving!” but your eyes say “Nonsense, we’re staying still!”

Vertigo is like motion sickness on steroids. Your ears are having a panic attack and your eyes are a set of cautious hypochondriacs. When you have your eyes open during an episode of vertigo, your ears are screaming that you’re being flung through time and space while your eyes get confused and say “Well… we’re not being flung anywhere, but the room does seem to be doing something funky.” For me, the room starts to ‘spin’. It does quarter turns and resets itself every second or so. If you close your eyes, your brain ‘loses’ one of the senses reassuring it that you aren’t, in fact, about to be hurled into the sun. All it can do is listen to your panicking ears, and to me it feels like my head is being whipped from side to side like windshield wipers set on maximum overdrive.

Motion sickness never caused vertigo for me, but having both at the same time was never fun.

SCIENCE BREAK OVER!

I didn’t know any of this when we booked the cruise, I just knew I became motion sick fairly easily. I asked my parents if I shouldn’t bring some Gravol, or get something to help with the motion sickness. Mom was adamant that I wouldn’t be able to feel the ship rocking beneath me. My sensitive balance centers would be fine.

She was wrong. Just straight up wrong. “Mother doesn’t always know best,” was a lesson I learned the hard way.

Thankfully we had calm seas throughout the cruise, and being distracted helped, so during the day it wasn’t noticeable. Trying to sleep was a completely different story. With no distractions, low visibility, vertigo, and the rocking of the ship, falling asleep was no easy task.

All this to say you will very much regret not bringing motion sickness medicine with you should you find yourself in need. Just. Bring. It.

#2: Buy what you want before you board the ship.

Upon boarding our cruise, my parents noticed that there was a little duty free shop just before the gangway section where you could purchase odds and ends before getting on your cruise. When we got to the cabin, my parents decided that they were going to go back to that store to get some baileys for their morning coffee, and some bottled water for days when we would be exploring the port cities. They were absolutely correct to do so, everything on the ship is more expensive, so it was a good way to save money and be prepared. That’s not why I’m telling you to buy things before you board, though.

My parents handed me my key to the cabin, and explained where they were going, and that they’d be back shortly. Being the excellent and perfect child that I am, I plopped myself down on the bed, dug out my book, and awaited their return. I expected them to be fifteen minutes, half an hour max.

Bing bong! Over the intercom came an announcement instructing all passengers to meet at one of several designated area for muster drill. Essentially a roll call and a security briefing. I grab my key and go, thinking that my parents would have heard the announcement and made their way there.

I waited for over an hour, heard the security briefing, gave my name and theirs, only for them to not turn up. Between telling myself that everything was fine, and that they were probably just at another meeting area my anxious mind kept wondering “What if we sail without them?!”

When the briefing was over I went back to the room, thinking that they would be there for sure. They were not. It took them another half an hour to show up, at which point I not so politely asked them where they had been. Alright, so maybe I’m not a perfect child.

It turns out that one cannot leave or board the ship while the muster is being performed. My parents had managed to disembark and get to the ship before the announcement came, so when they tried to re-board they were told they would have to wait on the dock until it was over. I was told that was a bit of an ‘uh oh’ moment.

Today we laugh about it, but at the time I was far from amused. The moral of the story, save your loved ones a heart attack and just buy what you want before you board the ship.

#3: The stores on the ship close when you’re in port.

When the ship docks, that’s your cue to get out and go exploring. We came back to the ship early one day and none of the shops were open. There was exactly nothing to do on the ship except swim or lounge, which we could have been doing on one of the beaches. Purchase an expedition, or go have a wander around the port. Everything there will be open to take advantage of your cruise ship’s business.

#4: Bring Extra Swimsuits and Books.

It’s uncomfortable having to shimmy into a bathing suit in the afternoon when it’s still wet from that morning’s swim. An easy solution is to bring more than one. I usually find my swimsuits are suitably dry after one day, so depending on how much swimming you intend to do, bring two or three!

Bring a couple of extra books, too, if you’re an avid reader or likely to spend a lot of time pool side. I was restricted to one book by my mother (again, she doesn’t always know best) and I finished it on day two of the seven day cruise. When I went to purchase another I found that I had a selection of one rotating rack, and two categories: harlequin romances, and murder mysteries.

Let’s just say they asked for some ID when I purchased my book. Either shop for your literature outside the ship, or bring an e-reader.

5: The boat won’t wait.*

If you’re not at the boat on time, you will miss it. You could be running up the dock at 10:01, if the cruise said it was leaving at 10, you are not getting on. The captain does not care why. All they care about is keeping to their schedule. You could be lost, in the hospital just finishing up getting stitches for a minor injury, being mugged in a dark ally, it does not matter, that boat will not stop and wait for you.

*Unless you have money.

I remember one evening we were supposed to have left at around dinner time, and I noticed that we’d had to wait about fifteen minutes longer to set sail than we otherwise would have. It wasn’t that it was a great inconvenience to me, and it didn’t interrupt any scheduled activities, it was just odd. I remember watching from the balcony as someone made their way up the gangplank. Shortly after, we set sail.

At dinner the rumours beginning to circulate. Apparently the captain had wanted to leave on time, but was convinced to wait for this particular passenger because they were fabulously wealthy. The reason they were late? They’d been out partying and lost track of time.

It was irritating to find out that one person had made upwards of three thousand people wait just because they thought the rules didn’t apply to them, and they turned out to be right.

If you’re rich, be on time, and show some respect to the people you’re traveling with. If you’re not, don’t be late. The boat won’t wait.

Are there any lessons you learned the hard way while travelling? I’m sure they make for interesting stories! Share them if you’re willing in the comments!